Feeling lonely after Divorce or a Break Up?

Trusting those around you to be there for you 

Feeling like those around you have heard enough about your woes?
Feeling that you'd like to find some fresh people around you?
Ways to open to new positive friendships

After divorce or a break up we may have many people around us …yet, surprisingly, we may feel a real feeling of loneliness. 

How strange is that?
When you last shared your thoughts/needs/worries with a person were you disappointed with their response?
Just for a moment feel that feeling inside of you….the sadness, the hurt, the confusion, the anger or frustration.

In this moment you feel lonely because you feel you cannot share these thoughts and feelings with another person. See my video

You are all you have. … and this has to be enough in this moment. 
So how can you make ‘only me’ feel comfortable and safe?
It’s by giving yourself an internal hug after all that’s happened and giving yourself words of reassurance; in fact whatever you hope to receive from another person. After all you can rely on yourself to love yourself…or can you?

Do you give yourself the worst ‘put down’ on this planet?
    
   

If this is the case it’s not surprising that those around you give you a hard time too because they are only picking up on the vibe which you are setting up around yourself. Does this make sense to you? 

Do you know where I am coming from?

“It’s all too easy to NOT be honest my feelings for fear of being disappointed; I don’t want to be seen to make a fuss or upset people.” 

Maybe, though, when we say what our true feelings are - and trust the person to hear our truth - we are being clear which keeps confusion at bay. Can the reason for us not being honest be a fear of simple loneliness? 
We try to seem cool and in control and sassy. 

After divorce or a break up we often don’t feel we fit in the same as before and we have to change what we say to fit in; feeling invisible yet painfully exposed.
 What are the feelings of shame which people picked up on? What was the taboo?   

Feeling stressed and the inner bear is wanting to roar? 

     
So ‘cool girl/guy’ could in fact be ‘fear of being lonely girl/guy’ Can you remember any time in childhood when you felt unloved and lonely? When all you really wanted was tenderness and wanted someone to hear you as you opened up your heart? Do you remember what those triggers in the past were? How painful they were? They are in the past yet sadly, now you are divorced, they are affecting you again. 

Are there times during your social inter-actions when you are being hyper-vigilant and expecting rejection – when the rejection is JUST NOT THERE?
                                                           
As you become more aware of any mind set which is sabotaging you on a regular basis you have the opportunity to change it with phrases like

' I am accepted for who I am,
'People see all the lovely bits about me'

 

This may take quite a few attempts but persevere as you are changing your mind set to a positive High Five! 

You are trusting the people around you more and ~ most of all you are trusting you to be there for you which makes such a BIG DIFFERENCE!

Have you joined my facebook page yet? Fran Doidge's Emotional High Five.
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Work with me to understand how to make new friends and create the right community around you

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