Working with Anger to avoid Separation

We all feel angry sometimes yet this may be getting out of hand and maybe spoiling our relationship. 

How can I let go of and work through this anger?

How can I make my peace with this person - and myself?
 
How can I find the courage to grow and learn about myself through this process?

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Express your anger safely - don't hold it in 

Anger can be a very damaging emotion if it is not expressed in some way; or alternatively can the situation/person which caused the anger be accepted as they are so we move on?

I remember being angry at a person who kept their dog chained up in a small enclosure. The dog would bark at me and my young daughter each time we walked past. I was angry that the person did not care for the dog and that we were exposed to the barking. The barking itself was angry. I had to accept the barking as it was the only way home.

I did though, talk to the dog with love and understanding so it knew SOMEONE cared. I put this anger to positive use and identified the things in my life which this anger triggered IN ME and, with time, made my peace with all that bubbled up within me and was able to walk past without the anger being triggered.

Making our peace with the feelings inside us

   

Releasing the anger inside ourselves first

It wasn’t until I was able to truly release this anger from MYSELF that I was able to experience the freedom of living without it around me. The anger which was generated by the dog made me feel really upset with myself. It’s a horrible feeling and a self-destructive one if the feelings are left to fester and grow.

I realised how much anger I felt towards my mother, her lack of praise for me, her lack of affection and a feeling that she was somehow critical of my every move and not knowing, despite the puddings she made us, whether she really loved me -  and whether I got things right in her eyes. 

The most freeing experience is to be able to deal with whatever angers us and to let it go. It simply does not help to be aware of a feeling and then push it further down inside of us (hoping it will just go away) and guess what….. It grows, the exact opposite of what you want. We may not know exactly where it came from but that does not really matter ~ it's about dealing with the feeling now in a positive way. Could you be suffering from Domestic Abuse?

Do you really know that this is anger? Is there another feeling deep inside you had not realised was there? Click here

     

Letting go of what is making us angry

To start on the journey of releasing anger towards that special person in your life try these tips today.

See my relaxing exercise 

CHANGE YOUR NEGATIVE DEFAULT ~ in most cases we find that the anger at the current moment in time is triggering a distant memory from the past where we were really upset, which is why little things can really anger us. The important thing is not to DO anything with the anger at the moment but first;

  1. LOOK at the anger and identify the feeling ~ give it a name so we know what we are dealing with ~ it may be a gremlin, a scorpion, a crocodile, an angry teenager
  2. FACE UP TO IT– look at the feeling ~ this diminishes the negative power in the feeling.
  3. SAY cancel, cancel, cancel in your head to stop the negative process continuing.
  4. Have a positive place in our head that we can ‘draw on’ and replace the angry feeling with ~ being on the beach in the sun, walking high on a mountain, swimming in a warm pool away from everyone safe within a forest, maybe even on purple planet where everything is different

  1. Distract yourself and do something different, go for a walk, put the TV or music on, go out or read a book.
  2. LET IT OUT ~ scream, shout, let it all out! Exercise, go for a walk, run, to the gym, release that emotion ~ don’t bottle it up.
  3. Write a letter to that person, write every single thing you want to say to them, then go outside and burn it, watch the cinders go up in the sky along with your negative feelings.
  4. BE WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE~ it really does help to surround yourself with positive people. There is a saying that we become like the 5 people we hang out with the most. Do they put you down; do you feel good in their company?
  5. I give myself permission to express my feelings and not bottle them up, I’m not afraid to be me anymore
  6. I have learnt to love who I am even if others disagree.
  7. I CARE FOR ME
   

 

 

Completing this process

Focus on each stage until you can do it naturally

With time you will be an inspiration to others and understand how you may be an inspiration to that important person in your life and leave so much more space in your relationship for POSITIVE emotions... and love again

Can you possibly end each sentence you say to your special person in a positive way?

It’s all about helping you and it’s not about letting them off the hook. Try this exercise to release that part of them which is making you angry.

(However you may be realising that it's possible that things are just not going to work out and Separation is a possibility?)

A BETTER RELATIONSHIP  is on it's way 

It's building inside of you! Keep opening your heart to this special person in your life - and make sure that your heart is open to receive love from them too which will help you both.

Mindfulness with the Aromatherapy WellBeingBlend will support you too. 

 
You are the “master of your soul.”

Let's use a comforting smell to anchor your better relationship  

Work with me to find your own way to enjoy a BETTER RELATIONSHIP 

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