Overcome and Remove Domestic Abuse from your life

It’s extremely likely that this acceptance of abuse and not feeling you can fight back has been a part of you – but well hidden – since childhood; or maybe since being a teenager. Something happened which attacked your feeling of self worth. Something which may have even been trivial and small at the time yet had a deep and lasting effect on you.
I know you’ve maybe heard this before and it’s hard to know if this is true – and if so what you can do about it?

Maybe you had inadequate physical or emotional care as a child/teenager.
You had unstable or unreliable parents who found it hard to be kind to you. This may mean that in the present, now, being treated badly is somehow a safe place to be.
Unfortunately this pattern seems to repeat in your adult life and you feel that you deserve to be treated badly maybe because you feel you deserve it – you may have even forgotten what you actually may have done which was so bad yet that feeling of guilt is still there driving you to stay and be punished.

You may be a woman or a man.

National Domestic Abuse Helpline =  www.nationaldahelpline.co.uk 

That’s really hard and my heart goes out to you.

I don’t know your story and I may not quite be getting this right for your particular circumstance yet the theme will be about right and relevant to you.

Let me be a safe harbour for you where you can be yourself – warts and all – and yet be accepted and honoured for who you are. Let’s look at your Inner Wellbeing giving you an inner strength you did not think you had.
If finances are troubling you then I am happy to work with you at a reduced rate for 3 sessions using Skype/Zoom or Facetime
Then we can see where you are and go from there. I give you things you can do yourself at home to support yourself and to make you feel stronger and worthy of being SPECIAL in your own life like self-care ideas.

Do you have children who you want to have with you? Do you feel that you would have to leave them behind if you felt you had no option other than to leave?
We can help you to find the confidence to find the right support and protection which you will need as you feel able fly free of this awful situation.

OR feel strong enough to find yourself in a strong enough attitude so that this person backs off and realises that you are standing up for you and what matters to you – no matter what they throw at you.

An abuser is a bully and remember bullies are cowards!
They are weak inside and it may not take much to turn things around and be the one who has the last say. You have found your inner strength and your inner knowing that YOU MATTER.

Either is possible yet it’s sometimes not the right thing to do to break up a family. It will take alot of guts and inspiration to stay.

How will you help me to take this big step forwards?

1. We will find out, with gentle questioning, what may have been the trigger. During their early developmental stages, children believe that everything is their fault, they blame themselves for divorce, abuse, or even the death of a parent. Such children start to believe that they are unlovable, and they may internalise self-blame, as reflected by an inner critic. Weight problems are sometimes another indication of worry due to a lack of self-worth.

2. With gentle questioning we find out what this message is. See my anxiety gremlin exercise which I use with relationships to get an idea about this process.

3. I find that using a process using simple tapping on specific points called EFT (The Emotional Freedom Technique) has really beneficial effects as we are working with the sub-conscious through the body. We use this message to unlock your inner deep messages. The mind and body are reassured at the same time. It’ such a simple thing to do at home when you’re in the loo or somewhere private. 

4. During an EFT session you will find that things which happened to you in the past, which you may not have thought about for years, and which are relevant to how you are feeling now will rise to the surface to be looked at and let go of.

5. We decide between us your new ways of dealing with this person in your life and you either decide to stay or realise that you have no alternative but have to leave. I support you in making this happen by calling on the support networks which are out there for you. You are no longer alone and you will find and identify those people who you can TRUST. 

6. We help you, using positive pictures and positive affirmations, to access a calm ‘centre’ where you can immediately go to when fears threaten your sense of safety or security.

We add to this the tools of Mindfulness plus my Aromatherapy WellBeingBlend which ‘anchors’ your treatment enabling you to enjoy living in the moment, in whatever way suits you.

‘ I am accepted for who I am,
‘People see all the lovely bits about me’

It’s not something you signed up for. It found you. Can you possibly give yourself unconditional self-love and compassion rather than judging yourself as “weak”? Abuse issues can be overwhelming yet, if you feel challenged by how to turn this big corner – and come out the other side – then you have the confidence in the future to KNOW that you can manage your new life in ways that are healthy and productive.

Our aim (because it’s you and me working together) is to help you find your own way;
to maybe be alone for a while and yet still feel content or to make this relationship work for you on your terms – this is your new powerful you 

It’s a step by step process. We don’t accomplish this perfectly or once and for all

The road to emotional self-reliance is slow, steady, and sporadic. You take it step by step in your own time.

When you transform an abusive relationship into emotional self-reliance through an acceptance and knowing that you are OK, no matter how those around you act, this empowers you to stop laying your insecurity at the feet of your abuser and take responsibility for your own emotional needs.

This will be a very individual process for you and the exercises you may read on the internet or in glossy magazines will begin a process which you are realising you cannot do alone – you do need to find someone who you KNOW you can TRUST and who trusts themselves that they can help you with whatever comes up within you. Let’s increase your self-love quotient as you feel able to talk things through with someone.

Cope even better with high quality food supplements. I recommend Zinzino.

Take a look at my blog where there is lots more help and ideas as to how you can work out a better way forward fro you.

Why work with me? Take a look at my experience and how I combine the power of the evocative and reassuring sense of smell using essential oils with my work. 

Develop a bolder, more robust part of yourself as you become more comfortable in your own skin and your comfort zone becomes wider and broader.

Work with me to understand how to BECOME STRONG ENOUGH TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF – OR LEAVE 

CALL OR TEXT ME: 07974 400575
EMAIL ME: fran@coachingforwellbeing.co.uk
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