At home and at work we have many people around us …yet, surprisingly, we may feel a real feeling of loneliness.
How strange is that?
Think about the last time you shared your thoughts/needs/worries with a person and you were disappointed with their response.
Just for a moment feel that feeling inside of you….the sadness, the hurt, the confusion, the anger or frustration.
In this moment you feel lonely because you feel you cannot share these thoughts and feelings with another person. You are all you have. … and this has to be enough in this moment.
So how can we make ‘only me’ feel comfortable and safe? It’s by giving ourselves an internal hug and giving ourselves words of reassurance; in fact whatever you hoped to receive from the other person. After all you can rely on yourself to love yourself…or can you? How is your self esteem?
Do you give yourself the worst ‘put down’ on this planet?
If this is the case it’s not surprising that those around you give you a hard time too because they are only picking up on the vibe which you are setting up around yourself. Does this make sense to you?
Can you feel where I am coming from?
It’s all too easy to NOT be honest with our feelings for fear of being disappointed; we don’t want to be seen to make a fuss or upset people. Become more aware of our thoughts by writing a journal.
Maybe, though, when we say what our true feelings are and trust the person to hear our truth we are being clear which keeps confusion at bay. Can the reason for us not being honest be a fear of simple loneliness?
We try to seem cool and in control and sassy.
We’ve all felt we don’t fit in at some time in our life and had to change what we say to fit in; feeling invisible yet painfully exposed. What are the feelings of shame which people picked up on? What was the taboo? Why do I feel like I am not heard?
Maybe you’re in pain or it’s fibromyalgia you don’t want to tell people about? They won’t know what to say.
So ‘cool girl/guy’ could in fact be ‘fear of being lonely girl/guy’ Can you remember any time in childhood when you felt unloved and lonely? When all you really wanted was tenderness and wanted someone to hear you as you opened up your heart? Do you remember what those triggers in the past were? How painful they were? They are in the past yet sadly, all too often, they are allowed to affect you even now.
Are there times during your social inter-actions when you are being hyper-vigilant and expecting rejection – when the rejection is JUST NOT THERE?
Become more aware of any negative mind set
It’s sabotaging you on a regular basis and you have the opportunity to change it with phrases like
‘ I am accepted for who I am’
‘people see all the lovely bits about me’
This may take quite a few attempts but persevere as you are changing your mind set to a positive High Five!
You are trusting the people around you more and ~ most of all you are trusting you to be there for you which makes such a BIG DIFFERENCE!
Hey have you thought about being more wild? About spending simple time with nature? If you walk past a piece of common or park stop for a few seconds and tune into a flower or tree or maybe there is a squirrel in a tree scurrying along. Bring yourself completely into this wild thing and sense the mini calm in that wild moment.
Have you joined my facebook page yet? Fran Doidge’s Emotional High Five. Facebook take so much stuff off so quickly so if you would like to see what I am saying do please join me there
https://www.facebook.com/groups/FranDoidgesEmotionalHighFive
I post all sorts of supportive and inspirational thoughts and reflections.
Bye for now xx
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